MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET FOR WOMAN
Element Woman
Symbol WO
Discovered by Adam
Atomic mass Acceptable at 53kg, but known to vary from 40kg to 200kg
Occurrence Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
  1. Surface usually covered with painted film
  2. Boils at nothing and freezes without any known reason
  3. Melts if given special treatment
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used
  5. Found in various states ranging from virgin to common ore
  6. Yields to pressure if applied to correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
  1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
  2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
  3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
  4. Insoluble in liquids but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
  5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES
  1. Highly ornamental
  2. Can be a great aid in relaxation
  3. Very effective cleaning agent
TEST RESULTS
  1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
  2. All specimens turn green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS
  1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
  2. Illegal to possess more than one (although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other)
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